Tuesday, March 18, 2008

PMS-Post dedicated and inspired by Hubby dear

Yes I am referring to Pre/Post Menstrual syndrome....and yes it apparantly does exist!

There are two types of people in the world....those that suffer from PMS (no not the women...was actually talking about men..since its they who suffer from women's PMS) and those on the other side of the world who actually have PMS (thats women for you--and yes thats exactly why I have been lobbying that we should be thankful for the ones having PMS and not suffering from it..world again feels like such a wonderful place:-))!!!)

I belong to the latter category!

Ok so for all the medical researchers who want to study this syndrome--I am your ideal candidate-yes indeed...according to Hubby dear I display (or have displayed) usually most symptoms associated with this syndrome...irritation, anger, depression...In Fact I may have even invented a few not listed by them!

And am sure Hubby Dear would love me for coming up with this phrase...but he genuinely believes that for me PMS means"Psycho Mannerisms Start"!..Ahem

In fact so much so...that Hubby Dear had religiously put in an Alarm on his cell close to my due date which stated...."Psycho behaviour begins"!....Red Alert!

So now I finally have found my purpose in life...to save you men folks of the world.....And to reduce your sufferings(feeling very holy)...all you men folk will start believing I am their messiah...coz of what I am about to tell you.... for men like Hubby who dont have a choice but to live with the Psychoness of women in this time here are "tried and tested" 6 cardinal rules on how to handle it....

1) Usage of the word "OK" if increased during this phase to EVERYTHING that your women says will reduce the chances of u getting battered and bruised!

2) NO FEEDBACK--Read NEGATIVE feedback at this time can be "Constructive"--so unless you have something "Nice" to say to her and about her...SHUT UP!

3) Any Suggestion/ opinions etc at this point of time can be strictly avoided! So what if she asks for your opinion? For the inexperienced lot--this is how you handle it--Ask her for her opinion-"Am still thinking honey--what do u think?" And then whatever she says--follow Rule number 1--OK!!

4) Touching on "sensitive" topics like "Her weight, her parents, her cooking, her hairstyle..etc" can not just prove dangerous but fatal..steer clear!

5) This is however the catchy one--behaving too sweet or romantic or "over" pampering her can make you appear "unnatural"(please note..."over pampering is unnatural--pampering is advisable..in fact mandatory).
However even worse would be if you start ignoring her! Giving undue attention to your "true love" (again...notice the focus on true love) which is gadgets like PS3( ahem..refer to previous post), laptops, sports channels during this time can simply mean--Ur digging your own grave!

Only the smart and experienced ones can strike the right balance (read..with enough practice and bruises!)

6) Stopping her from doing anything ( read 2 exceptions are murder and suicide) ...by statements like "Why do you need more clothes/ shoes/bags..dont you have enough?", "I think you should stop eating so much chocolates--its beginning to show"....means your either genuinely and really really stupid or you love pain-sadistic bugger!

Like I said...these are time tested and proven theories--no women can dispute these and no man can disprove these--So men you can touch my feet now--the Mystery is solved!

P S:- Even after following the above 6 religiously if the Psycho behaviour continues...please note you are stuck with a actual Psycho........RUUUNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!


Monday, March 03, 2008

Man and PS3

Last mth for the first time in my life I struck lucky!

I won a sony Ps3 in lucky draw in a official annual dinner...(am beaming...what a win!)...and yes I was happy...not so much abt the PS3 as I was abt the fact that even I have a lucky streak in me...yeaaahheeee!!!

Hubby dear was obviously happier coz he almost thought we had a new addition to our family...(he hugged me as if I had literally delivered a baby...teary eyes...hanky pls)!!

At night on weekend after the PS3 has been set-up and games bought....(Hubby has already been on the pS3 for almost 2 hrs)....

Me:- Am going to sleep...
Hubby:- Baby dont go to sleep, come and play with me
Me:- No, I dont know how to play
Hubby:- No problem I will teach you, come sit with me
Me:- Ok give me the console, let me try
Hubby:- NO, you first watch me for sometime , learn and then play
Me :- (After 30 minutes)Can I play now?
Hubby:- Am just about to go to the next level...after this u play...
Me:- (30 min later)Now Can I play?
Hubby:- Why dont you tell me which direction to go in..cant find the way out!
Me:-After 10 minutes ...(zzzzzzzzzzz...flat on sofa)

Next night...Hubby with PS3 once again....

Me :- Am going to sleep(angrily)
Hubby:- No baby, dont go to sleep, come play with me
Me:- I dont want to (more angrily!)
Hubby:- Why?????????
Me:-Coz I still dunno how to!! (even more angrily!)
Hubby:- Why??? You played na yesterday??
Me :- DID I??????????? (Given up!)

Hubby Dear....sitting next to u...while u hold the console, u decide the game strategy and u decide EVERYTHING else...does not qualify me as a "player"!!