Thursday, June 29, 2006

Hope or Acceptance?

I am tired and drained.

Life can be very very tiring sometimes...and each day like a hurdle race....sometimes u gain the momentum and crossing the hurdles is a part of the run..comes easy!

At other times...u just trip, u just trip over and then you wonder how your ever gonna get up, and start all over again, crossing all the hurdles yet again.

I live with my fears and I hope for respite. I ask myself what is it...Hope or Acceptance?

What is going to take me through?...Should I live each day in the hope that tomorrow is going to be better or should I today stand up and accept that this is what life is going to be like-and erase all memories of what life was , and all dreams of what it could have been.....accept life and learn to live with this acceptance.

Does holding on to hope mean I am an escapist who doesnt want to accept reality? Does acceptance mean I am not a fighter--that I have given up?

Dunno what is right or wrong--but dont know how long Hope can give me the strength--maybe its time to embrace acceptance and let my present sink in and define my future.

In the end its ones own journey-alone-Always...and with time one figures out the best way to complete the journey....its not about giving up...its about figuring our the right path!

The image of me isnt what I knew it as...I wish this image would go away, the existence erased, or taken away so that noone could reach me and I could reach no one. Away from all and everything....away from me too.

p.s :- Thx everyone for the lovely comments on my last post--didnt reply coz didnt know what to say to all of you except thx a lot!


Monday, June 19, 2006


Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from Indomitable will.

-Mahatma Gandhi

Weak, tired, drained,
Hope , faith, belief,
Tears, pain, agony,
Hope, Faith, belief,
Helplessness, lost, anger,
Hope, faith, belief,
Love, Patience, Will.
Life, life, life.

Trying to figure out which one to hold draw the strength know its gonna be ok.

I dont want to lose myself before this.....before I find the answer....hopefully soon..Someday:-)

Till then I just keep walking.


Friday, June 09, 2006

Ma & Pa Time again!

Yeah!...My Folks are coming over this weekend!!!!

This is a paranoia that tends to hit most of us who have been "staying away from home for ages now"....This is an event...and for people like us parents coming over needs nothing less than complete "event management skills!"

Spend almost the entire weekend trying to make the house look like its been inhabited and not run down by a hurricane (thx to hubby dear's mere existence in the house)!

1) Cupboards are in order(with special instructions to hubby to not ravage them!) . Pls note cupboards also have moth balls and dehumdifiers (That ones gonna stun my mom!)

2) There are towels and soaps in both bathrooms and yes the even the toilet doors have been cleaned!(Bonus again)

3) Every bottle in kitchen has a label (Mom's gonna faint on this one;-)

4) There are extra towels in the house for guests! (Good girl!)

5) Junk food has been hidden away in the top shelves hoping it'll be atleast a week till mom reaches there!:-) (Sly one!)

6) Separate washing powder is used for "gentle" and "not so gentle" clothes!....(Ok am showing off!)

7) Dust-bins in all the rooms!!! (This one takes the cake!)

8) Even windows/ glasses fall under the "cleanable furniture" in the house and maid has been instructed accordingly (Yeah am mama's girl!)

9) The fridge has rules.."Veg only in the veg tray, fruits in the last shelf only....(even mom doesnt have this rule!)

p.s:- This one is courtesy Hubby dear-he actually took it on himself to clean the fridge and set the rules!:-)

10) Water is filtered "and" boiled before drinking!( Well...things change mom!)

Guess parents will always remain parents and we will always remain the kid who will "never grow up"!:-).....the special people in their lives.

Its been almost 9 mths since I last saw them and almost feels like a decade...looking forward to watching mom stand at the door and waving at me going to office....saying..."Theek se jana"(Go safely).

Looking forward to being their "little girl" again:-)


Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Tag About me!

Yet another Tag!....

Last 2 weeks have been crazy as add to that life hasn't provided anything specifically exciting to talk about (thank god for small mercies) hibernation from blog was a natural resort....coz basically I had no "bloggable text".

Thanx to How Do we Know I am now back in action with a tag which insists on making me think!!...damn...( as if work wasn't enough!)

So here it is.......a tag abt me!:-)

I am thinking about....too many things I shouldnt be thinking!
I said what I felt.
I want get through life.
I wish for a magic wand to change everything I wanted to:-)
I miss my life before.
I hear my thoughts clashing in my mind.
I wonder if am such a bad student that I cant figure out what life is trying to teach me right now?
I regret not being able to handle things better.
I am ...who I was.
I dance to express.
I sing when I am alone cooking.
I let go off the pain.
I am as blunt as they come.
I make with my hands...lots of hugs..for hubby!:-)
I write what I cant say.
I confuse telephone numbers...ALWAYS.
I need a friend always.
I should learn to accept life as it is.
I start with an "intention" to finish!
I finish...every book I start...hate leaving any story unfinished.....every story should have an end...:-)

Phew that goes my free time for the day!...Was a "though provoking tag" other victims are ....Hubby Dear, Bold, Keshi, Sudarshan, lil Kath, Yashita, Suga and Khushi.