Sunday, November 20, 2005

Notes to Myself-Me

This is probably the boldest and most honest note I have ever posted on the Blog...This is one of those notes that one writes in your absolutely private diary and ensures that its torn before anyone reads it...

But I had this urge to blog about it...coz I had hidden it from myself for so long that I wanted to unhide it now not just from myself but everyone...

Something happened last night that cleared my head about a lot of things, about myself....not the dark side of me..but Me

1) I am selfish-very selfish
2) I take more than I give-in most aspects
3) I Am Money Minded
4) I am a dependent person
5) I am demanding in a relationship- very
6) I end up controlling others lives
7) I am rude and mean and hurt others to seek revenge
8) I am short-tempered and hurt others with my words.
9) I squabble over petty things in life and am unreasonable
10) I am insecure

This is Me. Sorry. Not sorry for being me--but for how me would have hurt those who are with me.

Thats why I probably have never truely been anyone's friend...Not sure if I would be able to love someone like me...but there are others who claim they do and I believe them....

I wanted to be a friend and ended up being a boss
I wanted to be a friend and ended up being a Advisor
I wanted to be a friend and ended up being a Wife.

Its nice to finally see things clearly...and this is not a self-pity post...just my first attempt to be honest to myself before I lose the courage.

I dont intend to end this note by saying that you will shortly see a Me-Part 2 which will be a different version of me...coz I am not sure if I can and want to change any of it. No, am aso not saying...this is Me-take it or leave it....

Some stuff I will change, others no, still others Dunno...

Only time will tell.

7 Comments:

At 6:48 PM, Blogger whatever said...

Although perhaps I have not known you long enough - you have been an excellent friend to me (although I have not been subjected to your revenge taking side... thankfully... just yet :))

Keep your chin up gurl. Nobody is perfect. If we all listed out our negative qualities, we would all appear to be bitches. And sometimes we act in a certain way with some people which may not define our persona on the whole... I hope you understand what I am trying to say...

 
At 7:56 PM, Blogger Ekta said...

Thx Nids!
And dont worry my chin is as up as it ever was:-)
Sometimes life has its revealing moments and guess this blog is just one of them...in full honesty..!

Maybe sometime I will write a list of positives next..though that will take 2 blogs probably!!:-)

 
At 6:53 PM, Blogger Hawkeye said...

glad to see you are back!

- blogger formerly known as bharath

 
At 7:04 PM, Blogger Ekta said...

yeah!
Am back and well yes remember its Bharat!..
I still have ur link on my blog..remember!

 
At 3:59 PM, Blogger Prashant/* said...

Take it easy, ET! You have just described notes of a human being to one's inner self. I think we are all like this only .. Chill maadi and start working ;). I think you're not used to such breaks from work :))

 
At 4:09 PM, Blogger Jupe said...

You know wot... U might have listed 10 things that came to ur mind but i would put down the following

11. U have the guts to face the truth
12. U r honest... absolutely honest

...and 11 and 12 for me eclipses 1 to 10...so as Nidhi rightly said, chin up girl...

:-)

- A tormentor called Jupe
aka
The most tormented

 
At 6:26 PM, Blogger Mr. J said...

Damn!!!

 

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