Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Nasal Harassment at work

I am planning to create a poll on this and then file a petition for a law on "Nasal Harassement at workplace"

I have sneezed atleast 20 times(no exaggeration) since morning and its now becoming a ritual!

No this post is not a rambling about how well I can sneeze--but a depiction of what the Chanel's, CK's, Ralph Lauren's of the world are doing to poor souls like me!

The Lady in cubicle ahead of me has a perfume obsession--I mean literally!!...She even has a sly bottle tucked away in her drawer, one in the purse , one in the pouch in the office bathroom and god know where else!! She probably sprays on EVERY part of her body, every piece of clothing (maybe even her belts!)....She probably even has a separate cupboard at home just for perfumes....

And mind you according to observation these perfumes are used like medicines everyday-prescribed dosage ...thrice a day , one spray each time!!..I sit behind a perfume maniac and am turning into a perfume skunk myself--uuurrggg!!!...

So everytime the maniac gets into the spray act I tried my best to make the loudest 'on her face kinda' sneeze--however have realised its time to spray the truth right on her face....

So using the skills of being a HR professional I make a humble request to her...

Dear Ms Perfume Skunk,

Its great that you like to smell and smell and smell and smell good. However I do hope you realise you action is likely to create nasal harassement at workplace and is what I would classify as Obsessive compulsive disorder.

Please note in case your obsession for perfumes is to fool the world coz you do'nt have a bath everyday -- please understand you stink either ways. You need -"de-aroma therapy".

In your self-interest I would request you to please refrain from such nasal harassement activities. It is people like you who make HR people look good-coz you are better than them in making any workplace even more stinky!

Human beings are different from dogs-we dont dig sniffing other humans!

Looking forward to co-operation!

Please note:- Perfumes are meant to be used--Not to be marinated in!

Stinkingly yours!

Accchhhooo!!!

46 Comments:

At 8:39 PM, Blogger burf said...

i suggest one day pour HIT into one of her perfume bottles

and all ur woes be lost :p

;) :D

 
At 8:47 PM, Blogger Reshma Anand said...

no HR policy on olfactory harrasment at workplace yet!!! there is a brand of air freshner i saw there other day called 'oust' - their tag line goes - that they do not cover up the odour with a more overpowering smell but actually neutralizes it. why dont you use that to oust your smelly neighbour. for a stronger variety of such creatures i recommend insect repellants.

 
At 9:12 PM, Blogger Mr. J said...

Hhmm did you cc it to admin dept. too?

 
At 9:43 PM, Blogger Neha said...

Maybe she doesn't liek to bathe and just puts on perfume to cover up.. tee hee I'm being mean :D You know what.. .put on an even stronger perfume tht ur not allergic to and drown her smell in urs ;)

 
At 12:16 AM, Blogger Ashish Gupta said...

HIT - what an intelligent suggestion!!!!

but then why just HIT, find some itch-causing chemical and use as adulterant >:)

 
At 1:32 AM, Blogger ME said...

yeah certainly HIT it! Worst is when you encounter them in the loo. Sorry for being so macabre..but all the smells simply get mixed up

 
At 6:19 AM, Blogger lil _kath said...

"Human beings are different from dogs-we don't dig sniffing other humans" :D
..hehe tell that damn lady to take a bath everyday(better for health too) and keep her money instead of buying those sucks perfumes coz whenever someone there in your place got sicked she can pay the damage right away duhh!!^_^
...oops ask her to pay you too for the damage of stress you're getting everyday hehe...
...or else give her some tiger look everytime she starts to open the spray bottle haha..like what i do when i'm getting crazy with someone(hubby) *grin*
..smile yaar^_~
good day...

cheers,
-kathy-

 
At 8:40 AM, Blogger Keshi said...

lol good one Ekta! Laughed alot reading this :):)


**You need -"de-aroma therapy".

ROFL!


**Please note:- Perfumes are meant to be used--Not to be marinated in!

hahahaha @marinate!



hey did u really write this to her? or is it just playing in ur head repeatedly? :) well u should go and speak to her and tell her how u really feel. It's harasment indeed, especially if it's affecting ur health and therefore productivity. Go tell her...and tell us what she said :)

Keshi.

 
At 9:31 AM, Blogger Arz000n said...

I cant step outta ma apt without wearing either a perfume or a deo...puchased yet another new bottle last sunday...POISON...and man Im in luv with it already

I do bathe everyday...but its like..I cant tolerate bodily odours of people around me, in case they have any. So its always betta to take precautions before hand ;)

As far as your problem is concerned...about that lady nasal-harrassing you...hmmm...I think the best solution would be to let her know that you know someone on blog who is obsessed with perfumes too...and pass on ma detils to her...I'll take care of her ;)

*wink*

*wink*


*aaacchhhoooooo*

 
At 11:03 AM, Blogger Sugababee said...

**Perfumes are meant to be used--Not to be marinated in!

LOL... I looove it... thats jokes!

 
At 12:34 PM, Blogger Rohini said...

Frankly, I don't get perfumes.

The first reason to use them would be to mask body odour. But perfumes don't stop you from sweating and the smell of sweat mingled with perfume is just cloying!! So wouldn't deodorants be better for this purpose?

The other possible reason to douse yourself with perfume would be to attract the opposite sex. But aren't that what your pheromones supposed to do? And won't the perfumes be masking these and defeating the very purpose?

Okay, I know this is not a very feminine point of view but me, I'd rather spend big bucks on a nice set of clothes than an exensive perfume. When I do use perfume, I like it to be something subtle like Davidoff Cool Water and then too a bottle of that had lasted me two years and is still going strong...

 
At 12:41 PM, Blogger Wanderer said...

MWAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

Perfumes are meant to be used--Not to be marinated in

lol

Make the lady smell a sock or two that probably will get rid of her sneezing problem!

Its like an old car with an old engine oozing out garbage!! And jamming in between ur journey!

Tell that old hag to read ur blog!!

Jeez. I love Axeland deo;)
I cant go around a single day without wearing it!

 
At 3:49 PM, Blogger Dewaker Basnet said...

the last line was great..hahaha..hope she does read the blog and realise the trauma which people around her are facing:)

 
At 6:29 PM, Blogger Contented said...

Hey mate! Have u got any reply yet? lol..:)

 
At 6:41 PM, Blogger Sudeep said...

She might be bathing everyday but in perfume instead of water..

nice but faint perfume is always welcome..

lollzzz @ de-aroma therapy

Had read this somewhere..
My cubicle partner wears a faint perfume everyday... one sniff n I faint

 
At 8:52 PM, Blogger Mr. Maverick said...

LOL

relax and wear a gas mask at work ;-), and then when she asks you, just tell her the reason!

Arun

 
At 10:00 PM, Blogger Suji said...

Great post! Laughed a lot. U shud seriously try some of the remedies suggested by ppl in ur comments. Some of them may work.

 
At 11:07 PM, Blogger alice said...

hillarious.........!!!!!

 
At 12:02 AM, Blogger Łóòň Ġãĺ said...

hahahahaaa!!

u MUST make sure she reads it ... lemme give u a silly ole idea ... send her an anonymous letter .... or just place it on her desk ... before she enters ;p ... this might help ....

mild perfumes are fine though .... but working with a perfume maniac like u mentioned ... cud be suffocating !!!

Thanks for dropping by my blog :)

 
At 1:08 AM, Blogger Viewer said...

LOL

seriously some people have obessiion for strong perfumes . Personally i am a person very consious of smelling good but then since i have a migrane problem i make sure i pick up sutle sweet perfumes and also prefer to be not soo lound as far as perfume are concnered

 
At 1:33 AM, Blogger Shikha said...

I have a guy near me who brings his perfume to office..it has a pic of shahrukh khan on it(I cant remember the name)..soon after he steps in, he sprays it all over his body..i think he doesnt miss even his hair..and then he keeps it on his desk..leaving us to worry when hes gonna use it again!Maybe i should copy paste that and send it to him:))

 
At 6:54 AM, Blogger Dawn....सेहर said...

hahaha ur post made me laugh like anything...:D
marinate ...boy ...ur too funny!
But I agree with u ;)
Hope u hv a wonderful day tomorrow

Cheers

 
At 9:37 AM, Blogger southpaw said...

You need -"de-aroma therapy".***ha ha ha ha ha....

Btw come to the city where i m based right now....ur feelings about not being marinated in perfumes wud surely change on the very first day of ur stay...lol, here u gotta marinate urself in perfumes and skin-screen lotions both...:)

 
At 11:13 AM, Blogger Boldnbeautiful said...

ha ha ha gud one.

Nasal harassment, I swear, some people's obsession may cause other's serious harassment.

Even though I like Jasmine flowers but the smell cause severe head ache. But cant help suffer

 
At 4:07 PM, Blogger Ajay said...

awesome psot
i knew of a similar girl.
i told her that it was a gents perfume and asked her why she had it on.
from that time , she never wore a perfume, atleast when she was to meet me

 
At 9:09 PM, Blogger ArChaNa said...

Perfumes are meant to be used--Not to be marinated in!

LMAO!!

just tell her directly..

perfumes ?? i hate them.. acchoooo

 
At 12:13 AM, Blogger uttara said...

LMAO ....

~~ uttsyyy walks with a biiig bottle of perfume ... ummmm lemme choose davidoff ;) ..loll n sparys it all over ekta n surroundings ...

~~ am running away bfore u catch hold of me ...

CTACH ME IF U CAN...lolll good letter ;)

tc hun

huggggggzzzzz

 
At 7:20 AM, Blogger Pri said...

whoaa!! can perfectly understand ur plight!...my best friend happens to be a "perfume fanatic" n since i hang out wth her most of the times, poor me has to deal wth tht...cant even post her a anonymous letter..heehee...cos she'll know rite away :(...
hav tried droppin subtle and not so subtle hints many a times too...but she juss chooses to ignore thm :(( *tearing her hair*...
sigh! ne suggestions???
psst: she is hopin for a "if u cant change thm , join thm " attitude from me...but no wayzzz...i would rather bathe wth waterinstead.thanku very much! ..;D

 
At 1:47 PM, Blogger Cibbì said...

Oooops! I've commented in the wrong place.. sorry! Here it was:

"Perfumes are meant to be used--Not to be marinated in!"

I'm still laughin' for this!! I know some people like your colleauge, and here it's said "They lead a blindman to Rome". Obviously, said both for perfume and stink!
But believe me.. till last year I had a colleague who didn't used to wash himself a lot.. and didn't use perfumes neither... That's really really worst!
Thanks for your visit in my blog, I'm late but I'm here! ^-^

 
At 5:26 PM, Blogger Yashita said...

hahhaa...ok I am guilty of being a perfume addict too:) but I use only body sprays...and only mild ones...but maybe this lady has a prob like me...you see, I do take bath everyday(mostly) sumtimes even twice(only in summers) and I do like to smell good too, but somehow this perfume thing never stays on me!!! I mean even if I were to spary the entire bottle on me I would still not smell any diff!!! so maybe that's why the lady keeps applying it every few minutes!! well, let me clarify it right away...I dont do that incase u are wondering!!:)

 
At 10:12 PM, Blogger Patient Portnoy said...

Pity our polyps :-) Tell me if you ever plan to sue, I'll contribute

BTW, you've been royally TAGGED. Come visit

 
At 10:59 AM, Blogger White Forest said...

ha ha ...hilarious...!
Wondering if this is the only option she came with if there is a shortage of water to bath!

 
At 12:33 PM, Blogger Ron said...

*Perfumes are to be used, not to be marinated in*

That line suddenly conjured up this vision of me marinating a large chicken in chanel no. 5. ehehehahahahhhahahahaha!! both you and your hubby seem to be on a "lets make them laugh till they cry" mode with your posts today.

 
At 2:46 PM, Blogger dreamz said...

:-) i suffer the same way! i get head aches!

 
At 10:42 AM, Blogger Anil The Great said...

i hate perfume , but not coz i sneeze but becuase i get headache when i smell such strong perfumes.

i hope this simple, subtle and diplomatically correct reply, does provide you the immediately needed relief, later you can go for a "Limited amount of perfume, in office hours" :)

-ATG

 
At 2:24 PM, Blogger Nick said...

cool yaar...coool an entry worth a notice for all.

 
At 11:30 PM, Blogger Sudarshan said...

Hahah...funny...and really witty!!!! The lady at your side hardly seems to be more concerened about her looks and how she smells other than anything else lol..maybe these are means to get promoted faster?;-) Nice post!!

 
At 4:23 AM, Blogger Maya Cassis said...

according to observation these perfumes are used like medicines everyday-prescribed dosage ...thrice a day , one spray each time!!..lol...this post was so funny.Oh MY GOsh!I couldn't stop laughing
But poor you.I know how you feel cos I have the same response to perfumes.
I wish I could come and swat that woman for you

 
At 9:39 AM, Blogger Keshi said...

so did u manage to solve it Ekta? :)

Keshi.

 
At 7:33 AM, Blogger Ekta said...

Burf:-haha!lol!why didnt i think of it..maybe i will give it a try!;-)

Reshma:-Hey grt reshma..didnt know abt it..!maybe I shld find out her bday and just give a predated bday present to her!;-)

Me:-Naah!..Admin dept will ask"Is there any HR policy against wearing perfumes"..!

Neha:-Exactly!..Me thinks the same too--no bath and hence to hide the smell its the perfume marination...sucks!

Ashish:- hehe!..Now ur getting naughty here!:-))

Me:- Ooohh!!..dont even get me started on the loo...its like AWEFUL!!!!!

lil:- hahha..yeah yeah...seriously maybe I should circulate some stupid memo saying "In the interest of employee care--HR advises everyone to have bath regularly...hehe"..maybe also suggets some preferable shower gels to use!

Keshi:- Are u nuts!?..I would be jobless by now If I would hae written this to her!..I mean thats why there are blogs right!;-)..But yeah have tried subtly to sneeze everytime she sprays herself but looks like she can see, smell, hear anything but her perfumes anymore or conveniently chooses to ignore!

Arzoon:- Hey I use a Deo/Perfume too..and I too cant stand bodily odour!
Have nothing against using them--but its the overusage which is a problem--like I said use it..dont marinate in it!!

Suga:-Thx babe..but seriously u shld come ard and sit in my place!...it wont sound humorous anymore..lol!

Rohini:- Corrrecctt!...either to hide ur odour or attract men!..but shes married ya and this whole place is full of women!!..Unless...oh my gawd!!..shes hitting on women!...naaahhhhh!!!!!!!

Wanderer:- Hey..good idea!!...maybe I will try removign my shoes and wearing the smelliest of socks and sitting next to her..hehehe!
Hey I like perfumes too but am not obsessed with them..though my fav is chanel allure..ummmm!

Dewakar:- Hope she gets the message in some way!!!...fingers crossed!

Contended:- Reply for what?..U dotn think i actually send this letter to her--will be fired!!

Sudeep:- lo..sniff and faint!..heheh...nice one..maybe I shld try this...faint everytime she sprays..maybe they will change my cubicle...just maybe!!

Mr Maverick:- gas mask..umm...i doubt though..with the amount of perfume she prays am sure it'll seep in thru the mask as well!

Suji:- hehehhe...am keen on trying the HIT and the socks one..heheh...!

Alice:- :-):-))...

Cheesy:- Hey good idea...anonymous letter...maybe it'll work....!!!!

Viewer:- awww!..thats bad...but seriously u wld have gone insane with migrane of u were sitting here then!. coz I have a very sensitive nose and keep sneezing even with milder perfumes...!

Shikha:- yeah yeah do that...better still just use up the perfume when hes not ard...dont think he will be able to afford refilling it everytime!
Wonder why people spray even on hair???

Dawn:-Thx dawn..am glad u had a laugh!;-)

Southpaw:- thx southpaw..but hey have lived in India/bombay and bangalore all my life and know how life in India is..and so ur place cant be that bad..is it?

Bold:- Hmm..jasmine flowers are nice..but they'r so much milder and its once again not the perfumes thats a problem--its how, where and how much u use it that drives most people up the wall!

Ajay:- heheh...u sure must have emabaressed the hell outta here!Unfortunately our lady seems to have a very good and expensive taste in only women's perfumes!

Archie:- hehe..kya karoon yuaar..i wish I cld..what if she just ends up spraying the entire thing on me..ooh!!

Uttara:- Now ur being the evil devil..meanie thingie!!...but hey..if u HAVE TO HAVE TO spray then I'd ratehr have chanel..I mean if i have a choice...u know...*sheepishly*
p.s:- Wait till I catch u!

Pri:- ur best friend!!..How do u manage girl!
I wld have just told her..get rid of the perfume obsession or me..one of us stays!
Sigh!!..so much for friendship!...god be with u!

Cibbi:-uurggg!!...thats worst i agree..didnt bath and didnt use a perfume as well...am closing my nose from here!!!

Yashita:- hey girl i use deos and perfumes too...nothing wrong..but pls pls dont bathe in them!..I mean just have some mercy on others who have not been blessed by strong noses..pls!!!
p.s:- U arent supposed to get the smell of ur own perfume..others are:-))

Patient:- OOhh noo..not another tag!..sigh!
wU gotta live upto ur name and be really patient..dead meat in work right now..so will take me some time to get to work on it!

White:- Trust me, in HK there is NO shortage of whatever..its built on islands..WATER EVERYWHERE!!
If she ever gives me thate excuse I will take her and drouse her in the sea...till she feels the water...I mean REALLY feels it!!

Ron:- lol!..but seriously thats what I think she is..a chanel marinated chicken!!

Dreamz:- Same pinch..though am more into sneezing!..aachooo!

Anil:- hey looks like there are loads others like me..grt to know am not the only one suffering from overdose of perfumes..and yes I hope so too!

Nick:- thx nick!

Sudarshan:-hhaaww!!..now that ur mentioning it..maybe!..what say I also start marinating in chanel everyday from now on to office!...Dunno about promotion but hubby dear will certainly run away!!

maya:- Hey thx maya..huggs to u!...though I wish I coudl swat her myself for all the nasal torcher!

Keshi:- naaah..not yet...but me thinks am gonna tell her subtly today that I think some one here is using too strong a perfume and its making me sick...hope she gets the hint!

 
At 9:26 AM, Blogger Keshi said...

hehe Ekta...na dun use hints...u know, sometimes an open and honest talk to her wud be less rude than a hint...talk nicely and say that her fragrance is a bit too strong and it's making u feel sick...Im sure she'll understand..if she's a sane person that is lol!

Keshi.

 
At 9:46 AM, Blogger southpaw said...

:)Next time when u come to india pls do visit ahmedabad except the winter season and then i'll see if u stick to ur current opinion.

 
At 3:03 PM, Blogger Has to be me said...

Ekta,
First time here & just loved this post of urs! So hilarious. Cant believe that someone is this perfume crazy! Since u r a HR person, Im sure u can handler her well! Goodluck.

 
At 6:38 AM, Blogger Ekta said...

Keshi:- Yeah yeah will have a subtle chat with her...and make sure there are atleats 10 acchooos in between;-)

Southpaw:- Ohh ow I know what ur referring. Have been to ahemedabad twice--have a Gujju hubby(that should say it all!)...so I know how hot, humid and sultry it gets!


Hat to be me:- Hey Firstly thx a ton for dropping by!
And hey love ur blogger name--Has to be me!":-)
Am glad u enjoyed reading it..keep hopping by!

 
At 7:08 AM, Blogger Keshi said...

lol haha!

Keshi.

 
At 9:18 AM, Blogger southpaw said...

Phew!!! so now u see how essential it becomes in places like that...:)

 

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