Thursday, April 06, 2006

For the Best

It all happens for the best....they say..

Does it? Does it really? Does everything really happen for the best...ALWAYS?

Or is this just a way of consoling ourselves.... something I have always debated about.

Used to believe earlier that everything happens eventually for the best....but in the recent past...my belief is beginning to fade away...

Are we fooling ourselves into believing that for every bad that happens in our life(and continues to happen) there will eventually be SOMETHING good out of it...which will justify all the bad..the pain, hurt, agony its caused us?

Does everything really become ok in the end? Does everything really have a purpose? And what if we get through with out lives not even realising the purpose of all these things?

Am not so sure...in my own experience...sometimes things dont change..EVER...don't improve...or become any better and I have still been unable to see how it eventually happens for the good?

Not to say that we lose hope in making things better- but the devil's advocate is saying we all have been living in this illusion ....and we continue to do so...

The reality maybe that for some people, some things..dont change EVER...things may not become any better and that eventually there might be nothing good coming out of all the bad things that have happened to you....not every bad may have an eventual good hidden inside.

Its not about being negative...just realising that not EVERYTHING happens for the best....and that's probably as much of a fact as life itself.

So we take each day as our whole life. Hoping and praying that the new life that tomorrow brings will be better.

42 Comments:

At 9:15 AM, Blogger lil _kath said...

..i think everything happens for a reason,nothing happens by chance or by means of luck...it all occur too to test limits of our soul.
...so it means we just need to accept the present, work forward to the future and have fun while we're at it..^_^
..smile yaar,life is beautiful!^_~

cheers,
-kathy-

 
At 9:35 AM, Blogger Arz000n said...

It all happens for the best....
Something good is in store for you...
Look at the positive side...

Are the terms Im hearing since last year...and believe me right now Im so fed up of all these...

Are we fooling ourselves...caused us??
HAHAHA...this is exactly wht I keep on asking myself...why that false sense of satsifaction we are given afta the f*ck up...thats not taken!!

just realising that not EVERYTHING happens for the best
Oh yeah....I agreee with you 101.4% here....everything is based on hope for something good to turn up tomorw...

Nice one..
Greetz!!

 
At 9:38 AM, Blogger Keshi said...

Spot on post Ekta!
So realistic and to the point.

I often think this abt this...does everything happen for the best? And that has fooled me alot in life but I still continiue to say to others...I dunno why...maybe for encouragement...


**...sometimes things dont change..EVER...don't improve...or become any better and I have still been unable to see how it eventually happens for the good?

SO TRUE! It has happened in my life...and I dunno how any good can out of that so I realised that this line is just a line...there may be some good happening out of all bad things for some ppl but certainly not for me!

However like Kath said....everything happens for a reason...be it bad or good...

**it all occur too to test limits of our soul.

I believe in that too. And thats why sometimes good things happen to bad souls and we dun u'stand why...

So whatever happens have faith in God...it could be something really hopeless that happened to us, but we must accept that it must be His wish for us for some reason that's not forseeable here..thats how I learn to cope my misfotrunes :) otherwise I'll go mad hehehe...


TC!
Keshi.

 
At 10:54 AM, Blogger anuj said...

agreed. nd evn if d end is gud .. wht abt the pain tht we hav to go through in the meanwhile ..

So sometimes its quite absurd to say tht things happen for gud .... but i guess we shdnt evn cry for d pain tht we go through .. cause if there wudnt have been pain thn i guess pleasure wud have been tasteless :D .

so cheep up gal .. go by the sea & u will fell tht ur tears r mere droplets of water .. :p

so jst chillax . tk . anuj .

 
At 1:31 PM, Blogger Wanderer said...

Nothing is destined or can happen by luck!
Whatever is in store for u depends on what u did!
Even ur slightiest mistakes can cause huge tremors in ur life!
If u come across a bed of thorns later u will find a blossom of roses!!
Thats life juz face everything that comes across u!!
Rock on life is long, we have a short time!

 
At 2:00 PM, Blogger Shikha said...

I belive that everything happens for a reason..and I religiously believe that everything happens for the best..bcos thinking back,in my life some of the worst things that had happened,which at that time had caused me a lot of grief,have actually ended in something good..and in any case finding good seems far better than making a bad thing worse

 
At 2:42 PM, Blogger Ashish Gupta said...

life just goes on its way - plain, cold, blank, happy at times, sad otherwise, mostly plain-cold-blank, same mundane day to day chorus!

once in a while (I guess when troubled with making+accepting choices!) we have to make up our mind or accept something as good-bad, right-wrong...

And it happens for best is probably the tool that was 'invented' to keep us going; by helping us make up our mind one way or the other :-?
After all when everything is an illusion which fades slowly and dies one day [except for LOVE!], in such a case everything is relative - its all about making us believe we are right, and everything thats happening leads to bigger good!


*PHEW*

 
At 2:46 PM, Blogger Ashish Gupta said...

@Anand: this is soo bad [-x.
where are you busy huh??? Go take her out for evening fast food, shopping ending with a dinner and movie! *wink,wink*

What a waste! mind is a precious thing to waste of such things ;)) hehehe

 
At 4:58 PM, Blogger Contented said...

Very well said. Its been sometime I was trying to figure out similar thing.
I think often we just satisfy ourselves saying everything happens for good. Trying to stand by positive side. I do believe one cann't stick to this philosophy for long or all the time. Things have to be even-out.
Important thing one has to look (rather just conclude good or bad) is whether or not one learnt something with the things happened the way they did.
And it is true that tomorrow will be never the same again.

 
At 5:21 PM, Blogger Neha said...

This is wat the Geeta says.. well the fact is that everything in life will have some positive attached to it.. though when i think of things like death, or someone getting robbed.. or killed.. can we say tht this happens for the best? where is the good part.. it all seems like a fallacy.. yet when we look back on our lives.. what do we see.. everything that has happened has shaped us and made us what we are today. tough to say whether it's absolutely true.. but then ntn is really absolute in life is it? though most of the times i would say tht yes.. there will be some good in everything tht happens..

 
At 11:00 PM, Blogger Rita said...

no, I do not thing EVERYTHING happens for the best! No way! Dunno whose idea it was to say so :P

 
At 11:45 PM, Blogger Mr. J said...

You know I think it's just our human way to say that everything happens for the best. Just so that we can forget the sad part and move on. Or maybe something like that.

 
At 1:53 AM, Blogger Jackal said...

nice post ekta.......agree with u fully.....though for some it may hold true..tht things turn out to be better........but i am sure many more are waiting....hoping against hope..for tht ray of light but sadly never find it

 
At 3:11 AM, Blogger Dawn....सेहर said...

without any incident to relate...am unable to comment here...as I am a positive thinker ...and I do believe everything happens for good if not then make it one for yourself :)

Cheer up gal

 
At 7:34 AM, Blogger Ekta said...

kath:-Well yes maybe everything happens for a reason--but point is, is that reason always eventually do some good?....

arzoon:-Fed up...thats exactly the sentiments I have!...Point is I dont even see a positive side...and that's exactly my question...is there really a positive side to everything?

Keshi:- Thx Keshi..but I question the fact that if god is trying to test our souls and there is a reason or a lesson to learnt from everything...then to learn the lesson we should be able to see the purpose of whatever bad has happened !...If the reasons are forseeable to us...how do we learn the lessons--does'nt it defeat the whole purpose??

Anuj:-iA gree anuj and thx for dropping by!...Howeever my point is exactly the same--that is the lesson learnt really worth all the pain and agony u go through!..Should'nt I have an option of saying-"No, there are certain lessons I choose not to learn if the trade-off is so much pain and grief!"

Wanderer:- *Whatever is in store for u depends on what u did!
Even ur slightiest mistakes can cause huge tremors in ur life!*

Well maybe thats true...maybe its not!...Coz NOONE is perfect...which means that god himself has made us in a way that we make mistakes and do wrong!...So then why should we be punished for what he has created himself?

Shikha:- :-) Hey shikha nice to see your optimism and positive approach and like you rightly said, its based on your experiences...my experiences are making it difficult for me to believe that it does really all happen for the best!

Ashish:- *we have to make up our mind or accept something as good-bad, right-wrong...*

Unfortunately thats the sad part...almost feel like u lose out in front of god and that no matter how strong u r and what u do...at the end of the day you reconcile and accept that this is life...is that the lesson that he is trying to teach us?
p.s:- Dont worry...hubby dear is doing a great job!;-)

Contended:- Thx for the lovely comment-*Important thing one has to look (rather just conclude good or bad) is whether or not one learnt something with the things happened the way they did.*...thats the key...am struggling to figure out what is the lesson in all this??

Neha:-Well sure, there might be something good eventually in everything...but is that good worth all the bad that's happened?...Is this really a good trade off?

Rita:- Am glad u agree-am sure whoever said it..has probably achived a deeper level of understanding of all this then us!

Me:- Exactly, I belive that EVERYONE has his own way of drawing strength to deal with situations and for some people this is the way to keep their hopes up and have a positive approach to handle testing times

Jackal:- *........but i am sure many more are waiting....hoping against hope..for tht ray of light but sadly never find it *

So well said Jackal...hoping against hope..but sadly never find it...and thats the irony am referring to...does life really come a full circle always for everyone??

Daen:- *...and I do believe everything happens for good if not then make it one for yourself :)

Yes , sweetheart..touchwood, I do hope you never lose the faith!

 
At 8:11 AM, Blogger Suji said...

Great post! I fully agree with you. Earlier I did belive that whatever happens, happens for our good, but now I too have my doubts. But one thing is there....misfortunes do make us stronger. So maybe that is the good that ppl talk about. I am an eternal optimist....so i think i find out the good part even in my negativity...lol.

Thanks for stopping by my blog. And thanks a lot for encouraging words. :)

 
At 8:14 AM, Blogger sophie said...

what ever happens i just think life is beatiful..and good times would come...
life has offered the best to me...
what ever lil bad things that occured was also required to know the good...

 
At 11:41 AM, Blogger Sugababee said...

A very good topic you got going here...
As to whether everything happens for the best... nah I don't think that at all.
However; I do believe that everything happens for a reason. If something bad happens... it doesn't mean that something good will eventually happen but rather you will gain and learn form this particular bad experience. So there wont be a good to every bad but I still think that everything happens for a reason and every event in our lives, be it good or bad, helps us in growing and adding character to who we are. It makes us stronger…

 
At 12:14 PM, Blogger Keshi said...

**then to learn the lesson we should be able to see the purpose of whatever bad has happened

u got a valid point here...I often ask the same Q from my mum whenever we discuss it...but I dun get any clear answers...

if we cant see the reason behind the happening now, then when do we get to see it and when do we learn?

Can someone ans this?

Keshi.

 
At 12:50 PM, Blogger Ash said...

hey ekta girl!!!
huggggggggggggs to u: lots

I beleive.....
well there can be loads of oscillations and finally there is a peaceful bliss, and it is soothing...

and it is all in tha attitude,....as one of my friends mail liner says....
the first two letters of the word GOal is GO ........
u got what me trying ...to say

take care!!!
Ash

 
At 2:17 PM, Blogger aCey said...

hi, ekta! thanks for visiting my humble blog...!

one thing's sure... many are hoping and praying all will go well with you. take care!

 
At 5:36 PM, Blogger Contented said...

@keshi: Thats the whole point in everyone's life. How and when one will find these answers. If you do at some point of time please let me know....:)

I believe most times we dont that easily. Thats why they say life is a never ending learning process. I think all one can do is learn something irrespective of reasons it has. At some point or the other (if one is lucky)he/she will able to see the reasons.

 
At 5:40 PM, Blogger karmic_jay said...

I somehow think that the whole, it happens for the best is a bit of the fatalism one finds in Hindu/Indian culture? Or may be in others as well.
Also it's sort of like a self preservation mechanism for our psyches, especially when events happen that we can't explain.
So no you are right the whole think is also sort of delusion, a psychotophic mechanism that is built in to us as social animals, wo we can move on.
Maybe it is also a way to not think too much about thinks we can't explain. But that does stunt the mind, what good is it if we can't think abotu things even ones we can't explain?

 
At 8:10 PM, Blogger Hirdu said...

I hope you won't mind if I continue to post on your liner "!! May You live in interesting Times..!!"

http://hirdu.blogspot.com/2006/04/may-you-live-in-interesting-times.html

Anyhow...came for the first time on yr blog...shall continue to visit :)

 
At 9:21 AM, Blogger Deep said...

Enough has been said on this post already... so indulge me even if it seems repetitive...

It often seems unfair the way things happen... and most of the times as they happen, it is pointless to believe that they are happening for the best or with a reason.

But it helps if you try to look at the situation as part of a bigger picture. And possibly instead of asking the futile question, why me , it helps if you manage to say why not me? After all only they who can bear it are given pain and suffering.

Things don’t necessarily even out in the end. They are not meant to. It’s life, Goddammit., not a maths problem. But your take away from it, more often than not is what you mange to learn from it.

I know it sounds extremely philosophical and pedantic. But trust me, there is hope as long as you manage to hold your chin up and strive. Remember, this too, shall pass

I don’t know what is bothering you. Nevertheless, all the best. May you come out of it stronger and wiser... and with flying colours.

 
At 1:32 PM, Blogger Pri said...

sums up exctly the way i feel most of the times :(...
dont forget to tell me whn u get the answers...im searchin for thm too...

***we take each day as our whole life. Hoping and praying that the new life that tomorrow brings will be better. ***

guess life dosent leave us wth any othr choice...:)

 
At 2:10 PM, Blogger Abhishek Chatterjee said...

things happen...period..depending on our situation we designate them as good or bad for us...i dont believe everything happens for the best..there is bad with the good. optimists may continue to believe, though.

 
At 3:44 PM, Blogger Rohini said...

I don't believe that everything happens for the best. I think that is more of a defense mechanism people have that helps them to cope with bad things happening to them. I think shit happens, you learn to deal with it and move on with your life...

 
At 12:54 AM, Blogger sky said...

did you guys have a fight? i wanted to email you but i have your old email address.

minita

 
At 8:24 AM, Blogger Ekta said...

Suji:- *misfortunes do make us stronger*
Oh! Yes they do...and I guess thats the positive of any misfortune--you end up coming out ready to handle another worse one!:-)
And hey enjoyed reading your blog-thx for stopping by too!

Sophia:-*what ever happens i just think life is beatiful..and good times would come...*
Thats why we say-World lives on hope!

Suga:- Thx suga! Well I do agree that everything happens for a reason and am hoping we all do get to see the reason for all the bad that happens in our lives!

Keshi:- Aha! Am looking for the answers too!!!
But I guess this is one of those questions which we all just have to answer for ourselves!

Ash:- Thxxxxx soooo mucch...hugggzzzz to u tooo babe! Well what u said is true--that eventually there is peaceful bliss--and we all live our lives looking forward to that bliss!

Acey:- Thx soo much Acey!-But dont worry-All's well..the blog was more a outflow of somethig have been thinking for a while on numerous instances and experiences and somehow never got the answers!

Contended:- Well life is a quest and we are all looking for answers!...Some of us lucky ones find them, some dont--but all of us spend our lives looking for them and thats why they "Life is a journey-not a destination"!

Hirdu:-Hi Hirdu-Sure i dont mind--I dont have a patent on that line u see:-)
Thx for dropping by!

Karmic:- Exactly!--Its almost like a chicken and egg--Whats the point thinking if we know we'r not gonna get the answers--at the same time we wont get the answers without thinking!

deep:- Firstly thx for the lovely comment--your comment did get me thinking-- and yes have realised "why me?why not me?"is the only way of accepting and living with life as a reality and making the most of it.
Thx for all the wishes!

Pri:- Aha!..its all about choices ..isnt it! and yes girl...the day I have the answers there will be another blog on it!:-)

Abhishek:-hah!...love your to the point-"shit happens " happens comment!

Rohini:- exactly-Shit happens and we learn to live with it and move on--acceptance is the key of it all!

Minita:- hahah!...Love the way you have interpreted it!..no sweetheart we'r still mushy as ever!;-)

And this isnt about anything specific--just certain experiences and things that stay with you through life and at some point u ask these questions!..THATS ALL!

 
At 10:20 AM, Blogger Madhooo said...

Yep, when something bad happens, you lose the faith in "everything happens for good". But after some time when u tirn back and look at that bad thing, u will see that there was a reason. U will see that things are good now.

Well, that is how I look at life.:)

 
At 10:44 AM, Blogger Diana said...

hi thanx for stopping by my blog.
i personally believe that whatever happens, happens for a reason. recently i had some experiences. i gt thru indian express exam and ws qualified for the interview. IE is considered as one of the best papers in india and thats why i considered myself as one of the luckiest persons on this earth. But unfortunately or fortunately, i dint get thru the interview. i really wondered, why this happened??
then my dad said that whatever happens, happens for ur good.
may be something beter is waiting for u.

 
At 2:55 PM, Blogger freespirit said...

hey...u sure have a popular blog here going by the numbers of comments you get! And I am thrilled that you are in HK. I spend a huuuge amount of time in HK all the time. And I would always look around Wanchai and wonder...where are all the Indian people??? I see them everywhere else...except in Wanchai!

 
At 2:56 PM, Blogger Nick said...

There are two ways to live your life.
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as if everything is.

--Albert Einstein.

 
At 3:36 PM, Blogger rebel_on_loose said...

I firmly believe in this saying though....coz whenever i've faced troubled times wen i look back now i do realise tht ultimately whatvever happened turned out 2 b a kinda blessing in disguise.
Moreover i like to believe in the "cup is half full" philosophy...
Be Optimistic!

 
At 3:47 PM, Blogger freespirit said...

hey...u sure have a popular blog here going by the numbers of comments you get! And I am thrilled that you are in HK. I spend a huuuge amount of time in HK all the time. And I would always look around Wanchai and wonder...where are all the Indian people??? I see them everywhere else...except in Wanchai!

 
At 4:36 PM, Blogger Princess said...

I do not think the way you think towards things. Whatever happens is for good. I am a strong believer of this philosophy.

But I have no answers for the unchanging miseries that never part from people. May be we remember god only at times of miseries & so God makes us remember him by giving miseries.

 
At 9:58 PM, Blogger alice said...

u know what ...life's not been good to me from past few months but i still believe in everything happens for the best.....'coz for me life has a funny way of resolving itself...
but yeah it can little irriatating at times...waiting for things to happen....
but i am an optimist...

 
At 7:02 AM, Blogger Ekta said...

madhoo:- Well We all hope to turn back and feel good about our past--and well so far no reason to regret!

Diana:- *may be something beter is waiting for u.*

Ahah...that's the statement I use soooo often its not even funny!...well sometimes its actually been true and sometimes its not...and thats my point--that even though a purpose exists we may not be able to see it for EVERYTHING in life!

Freespirit:- Thx girl! and hey its great!-Am pretty close to wanchai! When u coming next? We can catch up when your ard next!

Nick:- *There are two ways to live your life.
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as if everything is.*

Your statement says it all--guess the journey is all about being able to understand these miracles!

Rebel:- Thx rebel...and no am not being pessimist-am just very rationally questioning the belief we have--coz all of us have some basis for all our beliefs and these are mostly our experiences!

Aiz:- *May be we remember god only at times of miseries & so God makes us remember him by giving miseries.*

Ahah!..now thats a possibility--its god way of making sure we rememeber him--coz ur right I do think of god a lot when things are bad!..selfish me!

Alice :- *'coz for me life has a funny way of resolving itself*

guess its the same for everyone--thats why life is soo unpredictable--coz we just never know where the turns are going to come!

 
At 7:26 AM, Blogger Keshi said...

yeah ur right...guess we need to find the answers for ourselves and each one would be different...

Keshi.

 
At 10:40 AM, Blogger littlecow said...

What if you ignore the bad events? The unplesant ones? Simply refuse to react. Merely look at the good events. If you can, would you be happy or sad?

 
At 5:14 AM, Blogger Tafosi said...

Amen to all that you said.

 

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