Monday, May 15, 2006

Ducking your Boss

Why is it that EVERYTIME I dont feel like working my boss decides to play the devil!

Oops! After 4 years of work life and 5 bosses that was a silly question to ask really--Thats what the deplorable species called "the BOSSMATE"(thats my contribution to the dilbert diary) has been created for-To make us realise we are lowly souls and mere mortals and our fate embraces torcher...sigh sigh!

All MBA courses should have a specific "mandatory" subject on "Seven Effective tactics of ducking your boss"...for now based on my indepth and varied experience with my various bossmates the genieus in me has been able to coin these for the larger good of mankind on how to handle your bossmate...

1) If he sits close to you stare at his screen more than he does at yours--make him feel guilty about even writing a personal one liner mail!

2) Dodge your cubicle inhabiting timings-when he goes for lunch--take a short nap and when he's back--run for food like you live for it!

3) Everytime he opens a unofficial site--"Ask inquisitively and "innocently"--"Hey isn't there supposed to be a firewall on this site?"-Basically let him realize he's being watched!!:-)

4)Put as many stuffed toys and caricatures on your PC as you can to show as little of the screen--maybe even a huge--"Mind your own business Garfield Teddy!"

5)Keep putting his stuff (like pens, papers, his important documents in other cubicles away from his cabin--FAR AWAY!--when he's not around so that he has to keep spending as much time as possible away from you (always have the belief that its "YOUR" area and he is an intruder there) and you can live in peace:-)

6) Type vigorously on the keyboard (like ur murdering the keyboard) with a constipated and intense look on your face EVERYTIME he's around--This look is a substitute for a "Am dead busy" placard

7) Sneeze, cough and pick your nose everytime he attempts to turn around to see you--basically disgust the hell outta him!!

8)If none of this works--QUIT!--your a loser--join a company where you are the boss--you deserve to become one!

All the points mentioned above are views of the author and have been based on extensive trial and error and more trial and even more error, research & observations. Only those with a brave and adventurous heart and rich parents/ fiance/ spouse are advised to try these.

Any consequences through any of the above points are merely coincidental.


At 10:46 AM, Blogger Mr. J said...

Oooopppsss. Bosses are uummm kinda nice people :D

At 11:58 AM, Blogger Keshi said...

**4)Put as many stuffed toys and caricatures on your PC as you can to show as little of the screen--maybe even a huge--"Mind your own business Garfield Teddy!"

lol hahahah!

Bosses can be bossy and a pain I know...haha Ekta funny one!


At 2:39 PM, Blogger Maya Cassis said...

point no.1 totally noted and lol:))

At 4:55 PM, Blogger lil _kath said...

"Type vigorously on the keyboard(like ur murdering the keyboard)with a constipated and intense look on ur face everytime he's around.This look is a substitute for a "am dead busy placard".

..hehe ,im good at "tiger look" and i'm used of doing it at home so i think i can do it too at work if necessary...*grin*


At 9:54 PM, Blogger alice said...

wow...this is good...i m sure it'll work...i'll try some...

At 9:34 AM, Blogger AlterinG Abhishek said...

hey very interesting "about me"
"May u live in interesting times.."

ANd i too love nutella

ok now I AM GOING ... well dodge my boss..cyaz..
nice blog

At 11:49 AM, Blogger ishita said...

lolz...this was fun to read!

pity i can't use any of it...but will pass this arnd to my frenz so they can! :)..he he...

keep smilin ekta...

At 2:42 PM, Blogger Has to be me said...

Damn gud one! I particularly like the fire wall one!

At 3:31 AM, Blogger Viewer said...

gal u have some pretty creative ideas here , probably ucan write a book "how to duck ur boss" LOL

At 6:26 AM, Blogger Keshi said...

knock one there?

Ekta must be duckin it then :):)


At 2:07 PM, Blogger Ekta said...

Me:- yeah right!! I was a boss earlier too!;-)

Keshi:-Yeah yeah major pain in the A**!

Maya:-:-)) Thx!

Lil:- Tiger look!..Hmm didnt think of that!...That can be good too..too scary to approach!..haha!

Alice:-hehe..sure..but like I said try at ur own risk!;-)

Alter:- hey abhi, grt people think alike!..Hope u have a safe time "dodging" ur boss and dont end up jobless!

Ishita:-hah!Thx..maybe someone can try and confirm the effectivness!

Has :- But that one actually works! One of my boss used to sell and trade shares online and then chat online with some broker friends thru some site- and you should have seen his recation when I asked him 'Isnt there a firewall on ALL chatting sites!" thinking too!...anyone interested in publishing pls!

Keshi:- yeah Keshi..trying hard!

At 4:58 PM, Blogger Harjee Kapur said...

loved all of it. rather am inspired. let's see which one i can use...will be tough as of now. have a decent boss *wink* and pretty too..
let me add a 9th one.
I did it when I was on my previous company’s rolls... you must be a good driver to do this trick…

take the key to his (boss) car. get a duplicate made.
And then let subtlety play its joker... and you watch the fun from a distance…. the persons face expression and reaction…

day one - If the car is parked facing the wall in the morning, by evening make it road facing.

day two - Park the car in such a way that the drivers seat is up against the wall and one has to enter from the passenger seat.

day three - put the drivers and the front passenger seat on full reclining position.

day four - make no visible changes on the car. just turn on the AC and music system on full blast and turn off the car.

day five - extract his CD changer and change the order of the CDs. advantage is this time he'll be on the road when it hits him ;-)

Poor AD (as we used to call him) thought the car was spooked.

He sold it.

At 7:18 PM, Blogger Ron said...

Love this. Am going to take print out and circulate amongst my friends in the office :D

At 10:12 PM, Blogger White Magpie said...

Shucks!! What happens if your boss is a good one? :> That is a problem too eh.

Mini laff riot this article..:))

At 9:01 AM, Blogger Kuan Gung said...

Hee..hee..very good

At 12:11 PM, Blogger Apy said...

i think i ll try some... but interseting indeed


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