Monday, May 10, 2004

Guess who's my cubicle mate????

Nothing to get soooo excited about!!!....Definitely not the "Oh! the-best-looking-dude-in-the-office-whom-women-can-lech-at-hands-down!".....there isn't any such species in my office..(If that's any consolation)!

And if that's not torcher enough--I have to share my "MY CUBICLE" with the deplorable species called "the BOSS"!!....

It hit me last week when I was told that my Boss was going to be sharing the cubicle with me--not only that--it sooo happens(as "luck" might have it) that his and my PC can stare at each other!!!

And of course like any other "normal" human being my first reaction was "How can god do this to ME!!"--SIGH!not that my reaction has changed too much after the first day!

A week of mental preparation--thinking of all the possible seating arrangements , position of the chair and table, possible sites I could open up as cover everything I blog was done to see how I could effectively manage--the "My boss is my Cubicle mate syndrome!"

All MBA courses should have a specific "mandatory" subject on "Seven Effective tactics of ducking your boss"...for now based on my indepth and varied experience of a day with my bossmate(new word coined for Dilbert's benefit)the genuis in me has been able to coin these for the larger good of mankind on how to handle your bossmate...

1) Stare at his screen more than he does at yours--make him feel guilty about even writing a personal one liner mail!
2) Dodge your cubicle inhabiting timings-when he goes for lunch--take a short nap and when he's back--run for food like you live for it!
3) Everytime he opens a unofficial site--"Ask inquisitively and "innocently"--"Hey isn't there supposed to be a firewall on this site?"-Basically let him realize he's being watched!!:-)
4)Put as many stuffed toys and caricatures on your PC as you can to show as little of the screen--maybe even a huge--"Mind your own business Garfield Teddy!"
5)Keep putting his stuff (like pens, papers, his important documents in other cubicles away from his cabin--FAR AWAY!--when he's not around so that he has to keep spending as much time as possible outside your area (always have the belief that its "YOUR" area and he is an intruder there) and you can live in peace:-)
6)Sneeze, cough and pick your nose everytime he attempts to turn around to see you--basically disgust the hell outta him!!
7)IF none of this works--QUIT!--your a loser--join a company where you are the boss--you deserve to become one!

My boss has just come back from a week long vacation and has already left for the day--he was here for hardly 5 hours today!--and am supposed to rejoice?

I dont have anyone to even take a coffee break with--"Why is GOD doing this toooo meeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!:-(((-SIGH!"


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